July 11

Jazzed myself up in my 80s black jumper with purple glittery lightning strikes that Peter hates.

Armed with lappy, went for coffee. Liked yesterday’s Secret Garden coffee better.

Gym.

Shopping with Ally for Ryan’s birthday present.

Performance! Hooray. Had been a few days off. Great studio sized theatre in Thornlie. I love feeling like I’m in the same room as an audience – rather than presenting to people in the distance. I guess I find the latter more challenging.

Various levels of guilt over the fact I will be using a ‘Golden Ticket’ to do drinking tomorrow as we celebrate Ryan’s birthday.

Guilt. Serious guilt. Guilty even writing it now. Guilty when I think about it. Guilty.

 

Such is the nature of peer pressure, our drinking culture but most importantly, friendship, I had promised Ryan that I would utilise this option for his birthday. Ally, Ryan and Jace all said they would donate towards it, and from my guilt, I decided to match the donation amount I had already received before the ticket purchase. That did make me feel a bit better. Because it was $100. I paid $100 to be allowed to drink.

I felt like I could maybe be letting people down by drinking mid-way through Dry July, and maybe it’s more so the feeling of letting myself down somehow. But with my ticket in my hot little hand, alcohol is what tomorrow will bring.

Sorry. So guilty. Sorry.

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